Ok, I've admitted it, and they say that's the first step. I have a tv in almost every room, and they are all on most of the time. It's not like I really pay attention to what is on tv, I just can't take the silence of an empty house. I go to sleep with one on and I turn it on when I first wake in the morning. It's probably one of the reasons I have insomnia, and still I can't bear to turn the monster off and go to bed in a silent room. Hubby goes to sleep the minute his head hits the pillow, only awakening when he hears a loud noise from the tv. He used to complain about it, but now just rolls over and is soon snoring again. I feel really guilty about that, but not enough to put down the remote I guess.
In a half-hearted attempt to do something about my problem, I recently bought a little CD player with a sleep timer and some sleep-inducing CDs - at least that's what the advertising claimed. And yet, instead of turning it on at night, I kept watching the tv. The tv in my bedroom isn't even a good tv, the red color went out on it last year. Hubby mentioned buying a new digital tv, and I refused, thinking no tv was the best option. And then the thing wouldn't give up, just kept showing everything in brillant blues and sallow yellows and greens. We had to guess if women were really wearing black lipstick or if that was just what was left after the red was taken out. It was also the great equalizer. All people are a yellowish green, including their hair. Then the screen began darkening and we could only see the scenes shot in bright light. Still, the tv remained, like a loose tooth that you can't keep from wagging back and forth with your tongue, but you just can't get up the nerve to grasp it and pull it out.
I don't even like most of the shows on tv anymore; another reason to get rid of the tv, yet I didn't. Late night programming is either infomercials or old reruns, and I would rather watch those reruns than the current primetime lineup. I used to tell myself I would tape those shows, then watch them in the evening so I could turn off the tv at night. Never happened. Also recently, I had a long discussion with a friend about the Biblical instruction about tv shows containing supernatural people and events. I love one of her guidelines: Would you watch the show if Jesus were in the room with you? It also applies to a lot of shows that push the limit with sex, gore, and violence. As a result of the conviction I had and our conversation, I have changed a lot of my tv viewing. But the monster sitting atop the dresser in the bedroom remained, a dusty smirk across the dark screen.
Last night, after a long, sad, and depressing day, I told Hubby it was time to get the tv out of the bedroom and he helped me move it into an empty room. I shut the door so it's siren call couldn't reach me and I found an audio book on CD to lull me to sleep. It would have worked too if the alarm on the player hadn't gone off 30 minutes into the CD. My willpower was still high this morning and I found a picture to hang over the dresser, which gives the bedroom a pleasing, comfortable look. Afterward, I placed an ad on freecycle for the old tv and immediately received a reply. Extraction complete.
Until next time, may you have blessings and restful nights,