I thought all of you two legs might want to hear about that little punk who tried to take over my territory.
First of all, my two leg mama crooned to it like it was something special. At first I thought it couldn't walk because they never put it down, and I was ok with that. But then they brought it outside, put it down, and let it mark my territory! I was livid, but I played it cool until I could get closer to it. Finally, I had my chance when they were all on the deck and I casually sauntered over to it. The little fool looked excited to see me, so I pretended to want to touch noses with it. All of the two legs relaxed and I seized the moment to teach it a lesson it would never forget. I slashed twice before the yelling started. Confused, I jumped off the deck and tried to figure out what went wrong. Surely my two legs understood that no one else is allowed to mark my territory! My favorite two leg, who feeds me, pets me, and lets me sit in her lap even made that loud, annoying sound that means she didn't like what I did. Worst of all, I missed the little varmit. She didn't have a scratch on her. In fact, she thought I was playing with her and ran to me every time we were both outside. Well! I wasn't going to be yelled at again for protecting my territory so I ran from her every time she got near me. Somehow she got the idea from that that she was better than me. Not for long, I vowed.
After that, the two legs never let us down together. They were either holding her, or me. They all talked to that little white fur ball in a funny voice and called her Tali. I concluded by that that Tali was brain damaged, and decided to use that to my advantage.
First, I rubbed on all her toys until they reeked of me. Then I took her bed. It was a little small, but I managed to get most of me in it.
After Tali and her two legs left, the tunnel changed. Every time I ran into a box, I immediately ran into a dead end. Someone had closed the ends of all the boxes and then yelled at me again for being in that room. I don't understand that, but I'm sure the dog is to blame. I'm glad she's gone. I won!
Buddy, The Cat