Friday, June 7, 2013

Inappropriate or Not?

While at the grocery store this week, a store employee (a male employee) was in the parking lot gathering carts to take back inside. I pushed my cart to my car which was next to the cart rack and he waited while I unloaded my groceries. I asked if I was holding him up, and he said "No problem, baby."

Maybe I'm out of step with the times, but I think that is inappropriate from someone representing the store. I think I looked shocked. I hope I looked shocked. I don't look like a babe (or baby), so the statement wasn't meant as a compliment either. I think I would have been equally nonplussed if he had said "No problem, grandma."

I wonder if I should have said something to him but I couldn't wait to get in my car and get away from him.

Do you think that statement is inappropriate? Would you have said anything?

Photobucket

12 comments:

Cheyenne said...

Are you sure he didn't say lady instead of baby. If he did say baby, how old was he? And maybe that's what he says to everyone no matter what their age. I would have been a bit shocked myself and sometimes if I am in a certain mood I do address things like that, but in an upbeat way by saying something just as dumb back to them and then laughing. But I most certainly would get upset if someone calls me grandma, simply because I have no grandchildren.

Marti said...

No, it was definitely baby. He was probably fifteen to twenty years younger than me. Even though he didn't look creepy, he said it in a creepy, crooning way.

Yes, I wouldn't want to be called grandma either since I don't have grandchildren.

My mom's handyman, who is probably around forty, calls her young lady. He thinks she likes it, and she just ignores it.

Some women don't like being called ma'am. No pleasing all of us I guess.

Grandma K said...

Verrrrrrry inappropriate! He may have thought he was being "cute" but this was very disrespectful.

Kate said...

I'd have to agree that it was inappropriate. Maybe he was trying to be funny?

Marti said...

Could be. But he didn't look like he was making a joke. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it was inappropriate though. There was a man who used to work at a nearby convenience store who called me (and every grown woman "mama". He was from Croatia and I wrote that off to a language difference but it bugged me. Other than that, he was always very nice and respectful.

I wonder if people today just aren't taught what to say to others.

Martha said...

I think I probably would have thrown the baby right back at him with a giant question mark! I have many patients who call me dear, sweety, hon, and most are women who are younger than me. I sometimes wonder if they realize I am older??? I would have been very uncomfortable with his comment. Very weird!!

Nancy said...

Definitely an inappropriate comment. It would have made me uncomfortable.

Lena said...

That is weird. Especially if he said it in a creepy way. I don't think I would say anything but I would give him a dirty look!

P. said...

Wrong choice of word, that's for sure. He sounds like the kind of person that, if you had been a guy, he may have said, "No problem, dude," trying to be laid back or cool. Oddly enough, I live in a part of the country where I have heard some women take offense at being called ma'am. This baffles me, as I was taught it was a sign of respect. But they apparently feel it's the equivalent of being called old, or that you don't call someone ma'am unless they look at least old enough to be your mother or grandmother. Strange. What bugs me is when men call me, "young lady." That just seems patronizing, though I know they mean it to be complimentary (I guess, unless it's just a bad habit, and maybe these same men have been advised not to call a woman "ma'am"?).

Marti said...

You're probably right. I did wonder what he would say to another man. I agree that being called "young lady" is patronizing. When I taught school, some of the students, male and female, would call me "miss" rather than "ma'am" even after being told how to address teachers. I've heard other women say they don't want to be called "ma'am" either. I don't know what they want to be called - "sir" maybe. lol

Debbie @ MeandMyDIY said...

Oh my goodness, it's hard to know what to say when what one woman prefers, another finds inappropriate! I have to agree with you though, I would have found that remark to be inappropriate too. What I also find inappropriate is the fact that he didn't offer to help you unload your groceries. Standing around waiting for you to finish was rude enough without the comment to accompany it. But then, because he was so young, perhaps he hasn't learned those things yet. Hopefully he will gain that knowledge with experience.

Debbie

Marti said...

I guess I was so shocked by his comment that I didn't even think of that, but you're right, he should have offered to help. He wasn't that young either, probably close to 40.