Thursday, January 22, 2009

Amazingly Simple Remedies

I received these tips in an email from my mother. My mother, well meaning though she is, falls for every email sent to her. She sent me an email telling me to stop using my swiffer because it makes pets sick. She has sent me emails about a slasher who hides under cars and slices women's ankles so they can't run away, about perps who find an unlocked car door and hide in the backseat waiting for their victim, and those who immitate a baby crying to get someone to open the door. Dial 112 on your cell phone and it will connect to an emergency station anytime, anywhere. Don't answer your cell phone while it is on the charger or it will electrocute and kill you. Oh and be sure to pass these on to everyone you love.

Most of the time, I look up the snopes link and send it back to mom so she doesn't continue sending this stuff to everyone, or more to me. But still, she continues sending them, along with every email with tips in them.

So the other day I got this one. I sighed, and opened it to see what tips about the many uses of dryer sheets I can't live without now, and I decided these tips are worth repeating.

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Now be sure to send this list to 10 friends in the next 10 minutes, including me so I know you care.

Until next time, may you have blessings and friends who send funnies,


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