Counting My Blessings

Sometimes we don't know just how good we've got it. I was given a reminder of that today. Hubby had an early appointment on the other side of the metroplex (about 2 hours from here), and after a sleepless night, I was finally enjoying some sleep this morning. That's when the phone rang and the ring tone told me it was him. So I stumbled out of bed to answer it; he had gotten a call from the nursing home that his mother's oxygen level was low and they were sending her to the hospital about 20 miles away. I got ready in a hurry, ran by the post office to mail some checks, and headed that way.

When I got to the emergency center, my mother-in-law was wearing a cpap mask, breathing well, and was fast asleep. In fact, she was sleeping so soundly that the nurses shook her shoulder, shouted her name, and she still didn't budge. Mother-in-law sleeps a lot but not like that. They kept her in a trauma room in the emergency center for a few hours and then decided to admit her. Until a room was available, I watched over her and worked on my cross stitch.

Her room was actually a double room divided into two rooms by a curtain, and it was impossible not to hear everything said on both sides of the curtain. Soon after I got there, I heard two women on the other side talking about the condition of one of them. The doctor had just visited them and told one woman that there was a blockage in one of the major arteries of the brain. He wanted to put her on blood thinners and get checked out by a neurologist. After he left, the other woman, who seemed to be a relative, said she didn't think there was anything wrong with the first woman because she had been dizzy like that for years. She recommended the lady just go home and forget about blood thinners. Eeek! They left soon afterward.

The other half of the room was empty for awhile, and then more people came in. It sounded like two women and a man, and it turned out that it was two EMTs and a fourteen year old girl. The girl had tried to commit suicide.

At that point, I tried to busy myself adjusting mother-in-law's CPAP and concentrating on my sewing to block out what was being said, but I couldn't. The girl talked in a very detached way that she had just spent a month in a mental health facility and had gotten out yesterday. She left because insurance would only pay for one month, and she said that she wanted to die because of abuse she had suffered. It was gut wrenching to listen to her, not just her story but the lack of emotion in her voice. Then, I thought how similar her feelings were to mother-in-law's in many ways, just separated by eighty years of living. Eighty years the girl didn't want to have. It's hard to imagine pain and despair that strong. Mother-in-law has felt that her life has been over for a year or two, and her physical health has deteriorated to the point that she doesn't have a high quality of life, so it's kind of understandable. I don't understand why she has never wanted to to help herself feel better and get involved in something other than recounting her ailments, but then, I'm not her age and don't think I want to live that long.

There was silence on that side and then the door slammed open and someone walked quickly into the room, stopped, and shouted "Where the h*** is she?!!!" Then he walked my way and swept the curtain open between the two rooms. I looked up and a man pulled the curtain shut and I saw the bottom of his legs as he turned around. I heard the swoosh of the door slide open and he demanded again (without shouting) "Where is she?" and the male EMT said she was in the bathroom. The man said he was the father, and sole parent, and even though his tone of voice changed when another adult was in the room with him, he still sounded like he was carrying around some anger. I really felt for the girl then.

I hope and pray that this trip to the hospital will get her the help she needs and at a price her father can afford or a diagnosis that will allow insurance to pay. Fourteen is just too young to give up on life.

And mother-in-law? She slept without rousing for most of the day and tests determined she has fluid in her lungs. I wondered if the nursing home sedated her to try to get her to go to sleep. Apparently she is a difficult resident. Hubby said they were able to rouse her this evening and she spoke to them. The doctor wants Hubby and his brother to talk to someone about comfort care (Hospice) tomorrow. Meanwhile, the hospital is pushing oxygen into her lungs and lasix into her IV. Who knows, maybe she will be back to normal tomorrow.